The Funniest Crochet Project You’ll Ever Make: A Complete Guide to the Book-Shaped Toilet Paper Holder
Let’s be honest. Bathrooms are often the most overlooked rooms in the house when it comes to decoration. We spend time carefully curating living rooms, kitchens, and bedrooms, and then we walk into the bathroom and think, “Well, it’s functional.” But here’s the thing — the bathroom is a room that every single guest in your home will visit, and it’s also the one place in the house where people sit down, look around, and actually notice the details.
That’s exactly why a crocheted toilet paper holder shaped like a little book is one of the most charming, conversation-starting, and genuinely funny pieces of bathroom décor you can make. It’s cute, it’s clever, it’s a little absurd in the best possible way, and it takes a skill (crocheting) that most people associate with grandmothers and cozy winter evenings and places it squarely in a context no one expects. The result is the kind of object that makes guests chuckle, then look closer, then say “Wait, did you make that yourself?”
This guide walks you through everything you need to know to crochet your own book-shaped toilet paper holder: the materials, the stitches, the construction process, tips for personalizing it, and ideas for making it truly funny and uniquely yours. Whether you’re a seasoned crocheter looking for a quirky weekend project or a beginner who wants something small and rewarding to practice on, this is the project for you.
Why a Book-Shaped Toilet Paper Holder Is Pure Genius
Before we get into the how, let’s take a moment to appreciate the why.
The bathroom is, culturally speaking, one of the last places where people actually read. Phones have changed this somewhat, but there’s still something universally relatable about sitting in the bathroom with a magazine, a novel, or a crossword puzzle. We all know it happens. Nobody really talks about it. A book-shaped toilet paper holder leans directly into that joke without saying a word. It sits there on the shelf or the tank lid or the little basket next to the toilet, and it silently says: “We know what you’re doing in here. We support it. Here’s some reading material.”
It’s the kind of humor that doesn’t shout. It’s dry, it’s understated, and it lands harder for it. And unlike most novelty bathroom items you’d buy at a gift shop, this one is handmade. It’s textile. It’s warm and wooly and crafted with care. That contrast between the cozy craft-fair aesthetic and the bathroom humor makes it even funnier.
Beyond the joke, it’s also genuinely practical. A toilet paper holder made from yarn is soft, it grips the roll without scratching anything, it can hold one or more rolls depending on how you size it, and it adds a real burst of color and texture to a room that tends toward hard, cold surfaces like tile, chrome, and porcelain.
What You’ll Need
One of the best things about this project is that it requires very little in terms of materials. You don’t need expensive tools or specialty yarn. Here’s a basic materials list to get you started.
Yarn: You’ll want a medium-weight yarn (also called worsted weight or size 4 yarn) in at least two colors — one for the “cover” of the book and one for the “pages.” Traditionally you’d use brown, red, burgundy, navy, or forest green for the cover to mimic the look of a classic hardcover book, and off-white or cream for the pages. But honestly, this is where your personality comes in, and we’ll talk more about that in the customization section.
Hook: A 4.0mm to 5.0mm crochet hook works well with worsted weight yarn. If you tend to crochet tightly, go up a hook size. If you crochet loosely, go down one.
Tapestry needle: You’ll need this for weaving in ends and for any embroidery details you want to add to the cover, like a stitched-on title.
Stitch markers: Optional, but very helpful for keeping track of rounds if you’re working in the round.
Stuffing or cardboard: Depending on the construction method you choose, you might want a small piece of cardboard to insert inside the spine of the book to give it structure, or a bit of fiberfill to keep the shape firm.
Scissors: Obviously.
That’s genuinely it. This is a small project that uses maybe one or two skeins of yarn at most, and the tools are standard crocheting basics you probably already have.
Understanding the Structure
Before you start crocheting, it helps to think about what a book actually looks like in three dimensions, because you’re essentially building a small rectangular box with a spine.
A book has a front cover, a back cover, a spine, a top edge, a bottom edge, and a right-hand edge (the pages). When you make a toilet paper holder in book form, you’re making something that will contain a toilet paper roll standing upright. So the “book” is open at the top to receive the roll, and the roll peeks out from the top like a scroll sticking out of a box.
The interior dimensions need to accommodate a standard toilet paper roll, which is roughly 10 to 11 centimeters in diameter and about 11 centimeters tall. So you’re aiming for a container that is approximately 12 centimeters wide, 12 centimeters deep, and 13 to 15 centimeters tall. These are working dimensions — you can adjust based on your gauge.
The basic construction involves crocheting a rectangular base, then working upward in rows or rounds to build the walls. The “spine” side of the book gets slightly more structure, and the “pages” side gets a textured treatment to suggest the look of stacked paper. The cover gets surface decoration — either through color work, embroidery, or both.
The Pattern: Step by Step
Gauge Check
Before you begin the main project, work a small gauge swatch. Chain 15, work in single crochet for 10 rows, and measure. You want your gauge to be approximately 18 stitches and 20 rows per 10 centimeters using your chosen yarn and hook. Adjust your hook size if needed. Getting the gauge right means your holder will actually fit a toilet paper roll.
The Base
Start by making the rectangular bottom of the holder.
Chain 14. Single crochet in the second chain from the hook and in each chain across — 13 stitches. Chain 1, turn. Work in single crochet back and forth until your piece measures approximately 12 centimeters long. This gives you your rectangular base, which will be the bottom of the book.
Fasten off and weave in your ends.
The Walls
Now you’ll pick up stitches around the perimeter of the base and work upward to create the walls. This is the part where your book starts to take shape.
Join your main color yarn to any corner of the base. Single crochet evenly around the entire perimeter, placing 3 single crochets in each corner to turn neatly. Join to the first stitch with a slip stitch to form a round.
From here, continue working in rounds, placing one single crochet in each stitch around. Do not increase — you want the walls to go straight up. Work until your walls are approximately 12 to 13 centimeters tall. This is your cover color, which will wrap most of the way around the holder.
On what will become the “pages” side of the book, switch to your off-white or cream yarn for the last 5 to 6 rounds, and work these rounds in a ridge stitch (also called back loop only, or BLO). Working through the back loop only creates a ribbed, layered effect that beautifully mimics the look of pages when viewed from the side.
When you’ve reached the desired height, fasten off and weave in your ends.
The Spine
The spine of the book is the narrow strip that runs vertically on one side. To reinforce and define this edge, use your cover color to single crochet a strip that is 3 to 4 stitches wide and as tall as your walls. Sew or crochet this strip onto the spine side of the holder using your tapestry needle, and if you want extra structure, slip a small strip of cardboard inside the spine before closing it up.
Alternatively, you can simply reinforce the spine edge by slip stitching back along that column of stitches using a slightly tighter tension. This gives a clean, firm edge.
The Cover Details
Now comes the fun part: making it look like a real book.
If you want to embroider a title on the front cover, use a contrasting color of yarn or embroidery floss and your tapestry needle. You can write anything you like here, and this is where the humor really shines. A few suggestions that work brilliantly in a bathroom context:
“Great Expectations” is a classic choice — both the Dickens novel and a description of why someone is sitting in the bathroom. “Moby Dick” is another Dickens-adjacent pun that practically writes itself. “The Great Gatsby” is excellent if you want something that sounds grand but means nothing specific, because the contrast is funny. “War and Peace” for the person who takes their time. “Crime and Punishment” for any shared household bathroom with questionable hygiene habits. “Les Misérables” — no explanation needed. “The Art of the Deal” for the guest bathroom used by your most insufferable relative. Or, if you want something original and completely on the nose: “A Brief History of Time (Spent in Here).”
You can also add faux gold lettering by using a metallic embroidery thread, which gives the book a very authentic old-hardcover look. Add a simple rectangular border around the title, and maybe a small decorative element like a tiny crocheted bookmark ribbon hanging from the top of the spine — a narrow chain of 30 or so stitches in a ribbon color, left loose to drape down the side.
Customization Ideas That Take It to the Next Level
One of the great joys of making something by hand is that you can make it exactly as specific and personal as you want. Here are some directions you might take this project depending on your sense of humor and the people in your household.
The Literary Snob Version: Use sophisticated colors — burgundy with gold details, or a deep forest green with cream. Embroider a title from actual serious literature and add a small crocheted bookworm peeking out over the top edge. This is the version you display proudly and wait for someone to notice.
The Genre Fiction Version: Go with a pulpy color scheme — hot pink for a romance novel cover, neon green for a sci-fi adventure, or black with silver for a thriller. Add a dramatic embroidered title like “The Midnight Flush” or “Toilet: A Love Story.”
The Children’s Bathroom Version: Use bright primary colors and a gentle title like “Everyone Poops” (already a real and beloved children’s book, which makes this perfect). This is an instant hit with parents of small children.
The Set of Books Version: Make multiple holders in different colors and sizes and display them together on a shelf like a row of books. If you have a tall shelf or cabinet near the toilet, you can line these up and they genuinely look like a small library at a distance.
The Vintage Encyclopedia Version: Use brown, tan, and gold to mimic the look of an old encyclopedia volume. Label it “Volume 4: Bath — Bathroom” or simply use a big letter on the spine like a real encyclopedia set. This becomes even funnier if you make multiple volumes.
Tips for Getting Clean Results
A few practical notes that will make the difference between a finished object that looks polished and one that looks like a first attempt.
Tension consistency is everything in a small project like this. Because the holder needs to hold its shape, uneven tension becomes very visible. If you find your work is uneven, consider blocking the finished piece — soak it in cool water, gently squeeze out the moisture, reshape it around a box or container of the right dimensions, and let it dry completely.
Weave in your ends carefully and thoroughly. The inside of the holder will be visible when the toilet paper roll is in place, so loose ends inside look untidy.
If your holder is collapsing or too floppy, you can insert a stiffening element. A piece of plastic canvas (available at most craft stores) cut to the dimensions of each wall and slipped inside gives the whole structure a firm, book-like rigidity. You can also stiffen yarn projects with a light spray of starch, which washes out if needed.
If you want the holder to stay in place on a flat surface without sliding, glue or sew a small piece of non-slip fabric or rubber matting to the bottom.
Making It a PDF Pattern to Share
If you’ve worked through this project and want to share it with friends, sell it in an online shop, or compile it into a PDF for download, a few additional steps will make your pattern professional and easy to follow.
Include a clear gauge swatch instruction at the beginning. Write out abbreviations — sc for single crochet, ch for chain, sl st for slip stitch, BLO for back loop only, and so on. Include finished dimensions and a materials list. Add photographs of each major step if possible, and make sure your stitch count notes are clear at the end of each row or round.
If you’re selling patterns as PDFs on platforms like Etsy or Ravelry, a beautiful cover page photo makes an enormous difference in sales. Style your finished book holder with a real book leaning against it, a candle nearby, and maybe a small plant. Bathrooms can look surprisingly beautiful in photographs if the lighting is right.
Final Thoughts: The Bathroom Deserves Better
There’s something genuinely joyful about putting craft and humor together in an unexpected place. The bathroom is functional, yes, but it doesn’t have to be boring. A handmade toilet paper holder shaped like a book costs almost nothing to make, takes a weekend to complete, and produces a finished object that makes people smile every single time they see it.
It also makes a fantastic gift. For the book lover. For the person who “always brings their phone into the bathroom.” For the friend who thinks their bathroom décor is fine as-is. For the housewarming gift that nobody else will bring. For the holiday swap present that guarantees you win the “most creative” category.
Crochet has this wonderful quality of turning ordinary yarn into something that feels warm and personal and considered, and when that thing is also a little bit funny, it becomes something people remember. Your book-shaped toilet paper holder isn’t just a place to store a roll of paper. It’s a tiny piece of personality. A small joke that lives in your home. A conversation starter hiding in plain sight in the most visited room in the house.
So pick up your hook, choose your colors, decide what title you’re going to put on the cover, and get started. The bathroom awaits its upgrade — and your guests will absolutely notice.
